I've got a decompiler, and as far as I can tell, it works. How would I go about actually adding said LODs with 3DSMax? As it turns out, a shitload of models (coughhatscough) need them badly, as well as several weapons.
Everybody who helps will get a shiny new community weapon when I submit the rich, optimized things back to Valve. Why? Because doing their job for them is fun. Hell, just post something nice and I'll say you helped.